ett skadligt leverne

so yeah, what better way than spending your saturday morning (?) looking at different beardtrimmers on amazon after finishing that extra fatty hamburger that restored your powers from last night. friday on friday was great fun, kudos to the girls.

also once again, pandora is making me fall in love all over again. while spotify great for when you know what you want to hear, pandora is great for when you don’t know what to hear and who your next love is. current david neveu is making me wish i could play the piano. and then cim could sit next to me and sing while i play.

i would love that. hearing her sing takes away all my worries and lost thoughts.

it builds me a home to find safety in.

and btw … my girlfriend just might be your next swedish top-blogger. awesome, i’m becoming a groupie

so i had my second class yesterday, called ad survey. now that name is quite misleading as i with somewhat sad eyes imagined 15 weeks of studying “surveys” and what we can get out of them. luckily i was way off. it’s more of a discussion panel, our teacher being the allmighty well of knowledge and us being the misguided poor fools hoping to find the true path to infinite creative outburst. yeah, rock out with your c*ck out in other words. the second half of the class we played around drawing. great teacher, however a little too basic for me so we’ll see what will happen.

if you want to get a picture of how our teacher looks, try imagine steve jobs but way before the whole weight loss/flue/the cancer might be back-days. i like him though, there is something down to earth about him and the way he looks towards advertising. i think this will turn out great.

san francisco is starting more and more to feel like home. our house still feels like a hotel but that might just be because be basically don’t own anything in the apartment. which do tend to give a feeling of unease at times, but those moments are becoming fewer and fewer.

we’re building a home.

snart sa borjar det.

it shall begin very soon

shoro mikone scheily zood. (?)

in the girls house right now. or at least that’s what i think, someone might be upstairs sleeping but if they haven’t woken up with the ruckus i’ve made i’m pretty sure they either are dead or recently suffered from loss of hearing. c’s already in school, my first class starts tomorrow.

if the visit to ikea reminded me of something yesterday i assume it was my profound dislike of extra large people moving slowly in narrow corridors. which seemed to be what ikea was full of yesterday. i mean, if you want to be large, go ahead, i’m fine with that. but please don’t force me to squeeze through you like a springflower squeezes through the cracks of the pavement (if the pavement was made out of butter) to reach the morning sun (and by morning sun i mean the check-out point)

otherwise the visit was good. except on the plant-part. if there ever was a book about the cliche’  of interior design for male students, we would definately fit in. three small cactuses and one bamboo-stick. which during the way home somewhere lost its only beginning branch. so now it’s completly naked. it’s just a stick. of bamboo.

it strikes me how the national still evokes such feelings when i turn on their “boxer” album for the first time on 2-3 months. the last time i listened to album in full was during summer, when i fell asleep on my balcony with jonathan safran foers “extremely loud and incredibly close” (coincidently both me and c’s favourite book, who would have known). nothing special but somehow those kind of silent nights become your place to hide when other thoughts spend too much time running up the walls of your head.

i’m loving that i can use pandora again. currently lil’ wayne-radio, all i need now is c’s and that smile when she dances. tonight we’re heading to our first dance class here in san francisco. i’m both excited and nervous. we’ll see how it ends.

this is your average smug-post.

aaaaaaaah

p.s. you can now reach me at heyfarid at skype

today i payed a forth of my tution, hoping that until next payment the dollar will drop … really really deep. and i also became the owner of a new macbook. great stuff, i’ll pick it up tomorrow probably. or tonight if i become too needy.

financially i’m feeling pretty unpretty right. like dirty.

we went and and saw obama inauguration. even though we are not americans ourselves i couldn’t help feel happy for everyone around us. the faces people were carrying, proudness shining through their eyes. yes they can, at least they hope. go america, i’ll be watching the next steps with great expectations and curiousity.

i could write more but i’m tired right now. need a shower, need a drink. need to heal some broken bones. next time i’ll be writing from my new computer.

mom, dad and sis. i’m setting up a skype account as soon as i can and we’ll talk.

the speakers at wholefood scream and grunt words which we mere human are not able to understand. “huaaaaweee at liiuun tvoooo”. it suprises me everytime as i try to decode the hidden messages underneath. they must lead to treasure i think. why would they make it so hard otherwise. yes that’s it. the last few days have been turbulent. but in a good way. new apartment, new number being set up. planting seeds and taking root, it’s all about to begin. i’m already 3 years ahead, summers in sweden are not seen as coming home, but rather as taking a break from it all. well not really, home is in borås and with family, but also here. amongst friends and love. the sun continues to shine and the view from our balcony is amazing. even better on the rooftop though. kings have died for less. i’ve been bad at taking pictures. but for the moment it almost seems retudant when we always have 2-3 excellent photographers with us. i need to copy their pics btw. but i will start again soon. tomorrow we’ll celebrate the inauguration of presidental elect obama down at city hall. let’s hope he can be more than half of what everyone hope he can be. even that would be enough. now they scream again. come to think of it the sounds remind me more of the swedish chef on the muppets show. how did he get a job at wholefoods?

mamma och pappa:

telefonen funkar inte overdrivet bra just nu. comviq ar struligt pa det sattet. jag verkar dock kunna ta emot sms om det ar ngt. annars kan ni ju prova ringa mig och se om det funkar istallet. men ngn vidare bra kommunikation ar det inte just nu.

vi har hittat en bostad. i little italy. huset ser ut som ngt ur sallskapsresan och besitter inte riktigt samma karaktar som flickornas sex and the city-lagenhet. men utsikten ar enorm. alcatraz och fishermans wharf. ligger en bit ifran skolan men omradet kommer bifogat med soundtracket fran gudfader-filmerna. hyran ar helt ok ocksa. 5700 tror jag den landar pa. lite give and take beroende pa hur dollarkursen valjer att svanga.

blir nog mycket sandwiches fran och med nu. och kaffe. for de andra alltsa. for jag ar en mes som dricker te. dock kan jag slippa undan ol-hetsen har for har reagerar ju vinet. ngt som riktiga man dricker.

jag forsoker na er sa snart jag kan. eventuellt hagrar ett data-inkop ocksa, men det ar fortfarande valdigt osakert. just nu ar det bara sjukt gott att ha ngnstans att kalla sitt hem. jag tar ngra bilder sen och visar.

ni ska bara veta att jag har det bra och alskar er. du med syrran.

the anxiety continues as the dollar pushes upwards. well, at least i have a us-account at the bank now. i guess in someway that should easy up something.

the girls found their apartment yesterday. congrats! a nice loft (haven’t seen it myself yet but heard the praise) in the soma-area. c looks really happy and i love see her smiling. as for the guys, the hunt continues. in a way it’s the same thing as me being a foreigner in sweden. i get judged for things others have done. here the landlords look at us the same way - 4 guys? oh my …

it’s annoying because if anything we came here to study and make something out of this chance.

the university still has some proving to do. as far as i have seen yet all they’ve done is charge fees for everything. and i’m not always even sure what we even are paying for. what’s next … borrow a pen-fee … come on!? the us is so much more business than sweden, in so many more areas. in all fairness, we’ve only seen the administrative part of it all and right now i’m putting all my hope on the teachers, especially the head of copywriting.

it’s a funny situation right now. please make it right now. i need this. 3 wishes:

- prove to me that it’s all been worth it (regarding the level of the school)

- show us a home. (and a good one on top of that, if that’s not to rude)

- lower the dollar (like 4 kr would be perfect)

at least the weather is good. lovely actually. please make everything else that good. otherwise this is not at all becoming everything i dreamed it would be.

det pågår ngn sorts ångest-attack just nu när dollarn ligger på 8,31 … vad hände?

and then they taketh.

the gods of craiglist are not generous with their love. like bastard childs we are shunned away from the warmth of the fire, forced to huddle in the dark corner of their eyes. do not be seen, do not speak. never be heard.

finding a place to live here in sf is not much difference than sthlm. men are men (lousy, unable to depend on, messy and all kind of goodies), and women are always higher on the priority list of landlords. (except in castro i guess, if your manly bum is hot enough).

but it will work out. it’s just more business than i’m used to.

otherwise life is good. yesterday we went to a nearby church and enjoyed great gospel. what followed that was one of the best sushi-dinners i’ve had the pleasure of eating, accompanied by bottomless mimosa. and i kid you not, until 3:30 it actually was bottomless. aah, sinning and blessing. all within a couple of hours.

later on we sat on the roof, drinking, listening to music and breathing life. c was beautiful as ever.

i’ll tell you words that will hurt you. such as i love you.

it’s becoming more and more obvious that this trip is more than a escape.

assåååååå …

cali is treating us well. really well. she sings to us and holds us close to her magnificent bosom. when she smiles rays of sunlight are thrown towards us and freckles paint our faces. for those of us who forgotten the feeling of summer, a tear gently falls down when we are reminded of … the good life.

it’s not typically this way in sf they say. of course not, but now we are here.

we’ve started looking for housing. selling ourselves to the lords of craiglist. they smell fresh blood and are eager to taste it. otherwise the hostel is excellent, perhaps a tad crowded but as we say in sweden “if there is heart-space, there is butt-space”. (roughly translated).

btw. i shaved my head.

my language has been altered.

ngn tog mina a a o.

but we are in sf now. adelaide hostel/dakota. same place as last time, only one level up. brings back good memories. passport control was a bummer, and we missed our flight. we got lucky in the end and jumped on the next one.

mom, dad. it’s all good here. it’s warm and i can’t wait until the sun goes up again.

entertain us

good night sweden.

hello america.

it’s funny when you think of it. tomorrow i’ll be gone.

och allt kommer på det stora hela vara likadant som innan.

sthml will be gone. family will be gone. friends (the majority) will be gone. home will be gone. does to frighten you? i’m not sure it has caught up to me yet … the days so far here has been filled with talks, meetings, paper work and everything else between. what will i feel when i tomorrow lay my head down and wake up in another country surrounded by unfamiliar faces?

makes your mind go numb for a while. but i guess in a good way. sort of the same way you throw yourself against waves causing you to tumble around underneath the water without any sense of direction until you get washed up … and find solid ground again to place your feet upon.

now …. i’ve got to start packing.

on a side note. thank you csn.

she gave me headphones. effin’ awesome headphones. i told her she’s my favourite 80’s song, and that’s meaning a lot considering the massive amount of great songs that were made during the 80’s.

now i need a mp3-player. perfect. welcome to the consumer foodchain.

excellent.

there is a bottle of champagne in our fridge. tomorrow it will be gone.

most of us have jobs that are too small for our spirits.

Studs Terkel

i always love to quote albert einstein because nobody dares contradict him.

fantastisk skribent, journalist och människa i allmänhet. med coolt namn. gick bort förra året. får ni chans att läsa ngt av honom gör det.

i want a language that speaks the truth.

sådär ja. lite måndagsutbildning.

C ritade min julklapp. det var imponerande. en t-shirt med design av min favorit corey lewis. det var sjukt roligt o oväntat med så är det ofta med henne.

gårdagen var riktigt fin. maten på hoummus mättade (till en början) och sällskapet underhöll. C var vacker som vanligt. vi dansade på soap (för omväxling skull) innan vi blev nekade på spybar (har du haft roligt ikväll?) för att istället frusna gå till ambassadeur och lära oss kläd-etikett (detta är ingen strandklubb, utan en nattklubb. hör du skillnaden?). sneakerna kostade 600 för h-vede. ok att de var 400 efter rea:n.

jag funderar mycket. om allt. det snurrar i min skalle som ngn basdunkade skåning utropade förra året. vet inte om det är bra eller dåligt. eller nja … dåligt är det absolut inte. hjärngympa har aldrig skadat. det var bara längesen jag hade så många ord irrandes runt.

de 99 stegen gör sig påminda.

jag börjar smått förstå vad som ska hända inom loppet av ngra dagar nu. jag byter liv. byter skepnad. där borta är jag åter igen ett blankt papper (med ett pulserande hjärta redan ritat på). det blir därmed andra gången inom loppet av ett år jag nollställs nästan helt och hållet. på mångt o mycket spännande.

förra gången handlade åkandet om flykt. från mig själv, ett stillastående liv (iaf springandes i samma cirklar) och från henne. hon som aldrig fick det rätt. denna gång springer jag in i det hela. jag vill dit. vill bli hänförd och på ngt vis hänföra själv. jag vill inte få slut på ord och tankar. ngnstans ska de nu bara formas.

back in sthml.

jag har verkligen aldrig riktigt saknat ngn på det sättet. och det känns bra.

luckily, to prevent me from overdosing C, there is a “the hills”-marathon (11-18) on mtv which steals her attention away from me now and then. thanks lauren and audrina.

ikväll fyller J år. grattis!

we’re heading out later tonight, eating and enjoying our last saturday in sweden.were going too really “slarva bort oss” as they say. like always.

enjoy kids. i’ll write more later.

bara en reminder till mig själv. om ngn annan än C ringer ikväll så kommer denna att dö. så var det sagt. better be a emergency.

back at work, last day.today is probably going to be pretty calm (peppar peppar peppar). my biggest fear however is the fact that i have to say goodbye to my parents today … of course we will talk again before the planes leaves on wednesday but yeah, this will be the proper goodbye.

jag kommer sakna er. mycket. tack för allt.

now let’s end this work for today

heading back to sthlm in around one day.

jag har aldrig riktigt saknat ngn på det sättet.

on the 4th we’ll dance for the last time on a saturday in sweden the coming six months. that sentence should stir up something in me, but it really doesn’t. it feels completely natural. it’s a step to something greater (at least i hope). mentally, i stepped onboard that plane a long time ago. emotionally, i’ve sort of already started detaching from it all.

i’ve packed my bags. i’ve checked their weights. i got the papers and the ticket. need to send in the insurance paper for to csn to i got myself covered over there. then it’s … go time i guess.

but firstly, 1 day work left and 4 days of grazing around in sthml taking in everything.

det slår mig när jag väl landat.

… och så kom det sig att det nya året började med solsken.

great night indeed. awesome friends, good food, somewhat good music. fireworks were fun. drunk phonecalls to C with a raspy voice, only to hear that hers is even more raspy. promises. decisions.

it was a great night, although i guess you have to live with current intelligensvakuum for a couple of hours. and then a movie at the cinema, probably australia.

2009. it’s going to be something special.